Tuesday, 30 August 2011

The annual Lionheart birthday debrief sessions

After returning from the birthday trenches, that rumbling battlefront where boys become, well, a year older, and parents throw credit cards like hand grenades in desperate self-defence – it’s considered good strategy to retire to the war room for a debrief and a stiff drink.

  1. Before I’m struck down by lightning, I’d like to retract my statement that you can organise a kiddie party over the phone in 60 minutes. You can’t. 
  2. Nedbank’s cheque cards are made with superior materials, because science assures me that any square of plastic that was swiped through a card machine with that frequency and velocity over the weekend should have melted. 
  3. The Big Guy Upstairs occasionally rents out His angels for a good cause. Mine looked a lot like my mother-in-law, and she winged in from the heavens on the Saturday morning, where I collected her from Arrivals at OR Tambo International. Bless! 
  4. Usually guests leave the Lionheart’s party with three things: a packet crammed with tartrazine, that ‘nice one!’ feeling you get when you do a good deed – like sing happy birthday to a disabled kid... and the first sunburn of the season. This year, it was just the first two, because the weather was kak. Though it did clear up nicely later. 
  5. Kindly old ladies on pension rule at making birthday cakes. See exhibit A below. 
  6. When you’re 31 weeks’ pregnant, there’s no way you can blow up two packets of balloons in the last 10 minutes of set-up time before the guests arrive. (But it was hilarious to watch me try!) 
  7. When you order 20 party buckets, 23 kids will arrive. This is Mother Nature’s survival of the fittest rule in action. Mysteriously, we still came home with five buckets. 
  8. There’s always that one kid who insists on eating the birthday boy’s name off the cake. It’s weird. Also on birthday cakes, you can never have enough bedazzle-type stuff glued on with plastic icing. “I want a Nemo!” and “I want a shell!” and “I want a piece of seaweed.” 
  9. By the power vested in me, I hereby declare Friday nights to officially be Prego Roll Night at our place, until 4 November – which is ten Fridays away. (We exited the party with 40 spare prego steaks, and almost as many bread rolls.) 
  10. Last but not least... “Nailed it!”
  11. PS: best caption for the very last photo wins, um, the loudest LOL?


  1. Looks like he had a great party! Happy Bday to your lionheart.

  2. Haha! My Luca was the freak who insisted on eating the "E" for "Ellie" on the birthday cake on Sunday. What's up with that?!

  3. Well done :) Looks like it was fun and that cake is lovely!


Thanks for sharing, Lionheart readers. ROAR!