How the Lionheart and Squishy Gorilla are getting on

If I’d had the luxury of maternity leave, then I guess that today would have been my last day at home with my Squishy Gorilla, before polishing my power heels, and slinking back to the Land of Cubicles. I’m a work from home mom, though – which comes with its own perks and pains in the ass.

PERK: I can step away from my keyboard during working hours to play peek-a-boo and read Ryan Chocolate Mousse for Greedy Goose.

PAIN: No maternity leave means I’ve been working flat-out since the first day after I walked out of the maternity wing with my bundle of joy. (Why, oh why did I have to go and check my emails that day?) A good 75% of my clients don’t even know I had a baby.

To commemorate the end of my ‘maternity leave’, I’m reporting back on that burning question: “How is Travis adjusting to having a baby brother in the house?” I get asked this question often, but because raising a special needs child means slowing all things developmental down to tortoise speed, I’ve been hesitant to pull out my label-maker until I’m 100% sure where my Lionheart is at.

And this is where he’s at: Travis likes his baby brother.

I use the word ‘like’ cautiously.

It was little things at first. I’d put Ryan in his lap (me obviously supporting the baby), and Travis would turn his head away and ever so gently... shove... Ryan off. I’d make kissing noises and press Ryan’s drool-face against the Lionheart’s cheek. Mwah! Mwah! MWAH! Travis responded with shy smiles, and then progressed to giggling. And then progressed even further to irritation when the novelty wore off. I can imagine him thinking: “Enough now, Mom! I know it’s YOU making the kissy sounds!”

How I wish I could read Travis better. My sense are always on high alert when I’m around him, studying his body language and facial expressions to try fathom what is going on, on the inside.

What is Travis thinking? What does he feel?

Four-and-a-half years old and still not able to speak. It’s like twiddling the frequency knob on a radio to find a station! Communicating with Travis is a combination of Makaton hand signs, PECS cards, eye-pointing, and a small vocabulary of basic words I know he understands, like bath time, and pillow and bottie.

Remember those early days when I was convinced that Travis would intentionally hurt Ryan? The Lionheart was so angry and bewildered by this noise-machine that had stolen his spotlight. I literally feared for Ryan’s life when the two of them were together.

Travis, my boy. You surprised me. The anger melted away, and was replaced by indifference. And now, finally, after 16 weeks of sharing his space, toys, bath and most importantly, mom and dad’s attention, I see the seedlings of affection have taken root.

You know, ruggle parents take for granted that their children will get along when they’re small. Sure, there’ll be squabbles and scratching, but it’s a given that they’ll have a relationship, that bond that exists between siblings.

Not in my most hopeful imaginings have I pictured Ryan and Travis being buddies. Travis is just so “locked in” - he so very rarely interacts. He just acts or reacts. So you can imagine my surprise when Travis bum-scooted to where Ryan was playing in his bouncy chair, placed a toy car in his baby brother’s lap, and quickly scooted away – like he was embarrassed to be caught doing something nice.

I marvelled. My eyes must have been as big as tea cups. I thought my heart would burst with excitement! Oh the sweetness of it all.

Then a few days ago Travis was splashing in the pool with his water wings, and I had my feet in the pool watching him, with the Squishy Gorilla on my lap. Travis was going crazy in the water, doing belly-rolls and kicks. His clowning around made Ryan chugga-chugga-chugga in his hoarse baby laugh. It was adorable, watching the two of them interact.

So that, folks, is where things stand between Ryan and Travis. It looks like the feelings are mutual. Baby steps, baby steps.